Well after dinner, the guests were congregated in the formal living room of Ragee and Wynter’s home. Of course, there was a live band in the corner. Nothing overwhelming, but certainly beyond just a piano and drums. There were two guitar players and a percussionist. There was also a guy who went between the mic and sharing the drums with another. They performed a sexy tune I loved within minutes. As I danced in his arms, I asked Tobias the name. It was “Choosy Lover” by The Isley Brothers. I’d never heard of them, he shared, because they were an older group from our grandparents’ day.

Everyone sang, including Ragee. He was now belting out Mint Condition’s “What Kind of Man Would I Be” with a tumbler of golden Mauve in one hand. Him being a natural tenor, I was pleasantly surprised at how well he sounded in a high range. He shared the microphone with guests, too, as some simply watched him. He even asked Tobias to sing a few times. Of course, Tobias turned him down. He didn’t like to be the singer, preferring the role of the composer.

Tori’s husband, whose name I finally knew was Ashton, was a little loose. Hell, we all were. The wine, champagne, and other spirits were flowing freely. Like Tobias and me, Ashton danced with his wife. This song, in particular, had him in his feelings. As Tori swayed in his arms, beaming seductively, Ashton sang this song alongside Raj with passion. It was almost as if the record held sentimental value to them.

When they made it to the part of the song where the harmony broke up, and Ragee sang, “Makes me wanna say, ohhhhh…” Tobias leapt in place.

“Wow!” He turned toward the band. “Somebody’s fuckin’ up that F minor six!”

“Big time,” I managed to hear the pastor rasp.

The pastor. See! Everyone was musically inclined.

Raj turned to one of the guys singing and gestured for him to bring it down. Tobias turned back to me, big hands on the small of my back, and we danced until the song was done.

Raj laughed. “Jim, man. You fucked up the split key on the bridge. Tobe was about to throw your ass out.”

“Pastor, too,” Trent chuckled. “I ‘on’t even know music, but when I saw his head whip around, I knew somebody was off!”

As they laughed, the Jim guy held his face in his hand.

“Why were you so cold to Raj?”

Tobias used his nose to graze the side of my face. “You noticed that?”

I stifled a moan, still unused to being so close to a man; caressed by one, too. “I think the whole room did. I can tell he thinks highly of you.”

“He called me out on some shit earlier that stung,” he breathed into my ear, causing my spine to arch. “Ain’t no biggie, though. Just brotherly love.”

“Good. I like that you’re around people who seem to genuinely love you. That’s so underrated nowadays.”

“Your hair smells so damn good,” Tobias expressed throatily. He inhaled deeply, causing a cool breeze to graze my scalp.

“You and my hair,” I chided lightheartedly.

“I love it.” His hand roved up my back, causing me to curve into his hard chest and abdomen. “I can do this shit forever.” His words were like a feather stroking my spine, causing a shiver.

He smelled amazing, masculine energy teasing my feminine wiles, as we moved in sync.

“You haven’t asked about Kelvin’s arrest.”

“I don’t wanna say the wrong shit.”

I peered up at him. “You never do. I’ve gutted some of my most personal shit to you, and you’ve never said anything wrong.”

“We haven’t talked in so long. Feels like, we haven’t been the same since…”

“Homecoming?” Tobias nodded. “I feel the same. It’s like we talk less since…”

“The fuckin’ started.” I nodded. He reached down and kissed my lips. “You were rubbing them together. What are you thinking?”

“How I’ve had your body, but still feel absent from the friend in you. But I’ve been in a metamorphic phase. I’m renewing myself. Being with you feels so good…so natural, but after walking this through with my therapist, I know I have to make sure I’m not leaning into a convenience. I need to be sure I’m moving into what’s purposeful and meant for me. And right now, I want to make sure what’s meant for me is good for me.

“Growing up with my grandmother, I never felt at home emotionally or that I belonged. I was just a consequence of a bad decision of my parents’ and, therefore, a circumstance for my grandmother. That’s one of the reasons why I went along with marrying Kelvin. Yes, he was handsome, had a promising future, and told me to marry him, but I went with it because someone I felt I owed something to pushed me.”

I loved how his attention was stapled onto me, and Tobias still moved rhythmically, guiding our steps.

“For over three years, you’ve done a lot for me emotionally. You’ve been my biggest cheerleader…biggest confidante, my biggest confidence-builder. But I have to make sure this next chapter in life is for me. So, when I do fade to black…when I don’t reply—I haven’t been replying—it’s because I want to make sure I’m balanced with this thing. I have to know I’m making the right decision that’s best for me. This season has to be about Lennox.”

My eyes closed in a rush of passion. “Yes, I feel you belong in it. Yes, I want you in it. But when I’m away from you, now that our passion is high, thanks to us…”

“Fuckin’.”

“Yes.” I smiled. “I guess. That. The breaks in between just give me that much more confidence that I’m in control. I’m sorry it has to be about me. Do I see a future between us? Yes. And it terrifies me. I do see myself being with you, but at the end of the day, it would, invariably, be as your wife. I still have to maintain self-identity. I have to make sure all the baggage incurred from my faulty decision as a young adult has been cleared out before I find myself being your wife. It has to be all about me.”

“It’s always been all about you, Lennox,” his volume so tender.

“I do believe that, coming from you. I love you for that. I do! But, I have to serve me first. So, while I’ll return to New Jersey, I have to be on my own. I have to live on my own. This is something I’ve never done. I’ve provided for people over the past six years or so, but I’ve never done it just for me. Do I want distance from you? No. But I’m old enough to know everything that feels good ain’t good for you.

“I’m trying to move into this with just me on my mind. Do I want you there on the other side of it? Absolutely. But if I fall into you before I put myself back together independently, I’m going to end up in a situation where, maybe we will work out, but I’ll always wonder the motivation behind it. Like, what was the motivation of my grandmother taking me in? What was the motivation of my grandmother pushing me into a marriage I had no business in? What was the motivation of me accepting her influence?

“I have to figure out what’s best for me. Do I think you’re good for me? Yeah. The fact that I know who you’ll be in my future frightens me. But I need to stand on my own emotionally to have self-confidence. So, during this transition, I’m going to need help, but I’m also going to need space. All I’m asking is that you continue to be patient with me. I have to try me out. I have to temper me. I have to see what it’s like with just Lennox as a motive and no one else. I don’t want to be another circumstance to anyone. I want to be chosen. I want to be loved, but I have to be those things to me first.”

His heavy-lidded eyes were lower than usual as he peered down on me. Tobias nodded, expression placid. And the moment I began to worry about his reaction to my emotional diatribe, his teeth revealed themselves, illuminating the candle-lit room.

“You’re going to be my wife?”

Huhn?

Was that all his big ass heard? Out of all the gazillion words, I shared to express—

Big arms landed on my shoulders, and a face joined our personal space. “Y’all getting married? Can I sing there? In fact…” He backed away, neck swinging in search of someone. “Bishop, can we get you to officiate? Who the best man?” he posed to Tobias.

“If your drunk ass don’t stop,” Raj’s friend, LeRoy, groaned, sauntering past us carrying a champagne flute high in the air by its stem.

So embarrassed, I dropped my face into Tobias’ hard pecs.

“Shit,” Tobias husked. “I gotta get her back home.” He took my hand, and guided me out of the room, leaving Raj hanging.

“Why would you do that to him?” I asked, giggling, on the way down a hall.

“Raj’ll be alright. He’s been in his feelings over this Dale collab.”

“Why?”

“It’s what R&B dudes do. Raj knows he’s my number one guy. Our connection goes beyond music. The same with Wynter. We clicked almost instantly. She’s cool as hell. The perfect fit for his moody ass.”

We turned back into the dining room where Jade was at the buffet table with her son, Kyree. At thirteen, he towered over his mother. She sauntered our way to leave the room.

“I’m so grateful for today.” She rolled her eyes to the back of her head, lashes meeting. “I’ve been stressed for months about rolling this thing out. My husband is my biggest supporter, but he’s in the League. He can’t help me with this. Then, I have my girlfriends, but this isn’t their dream. My husband loves to say, ‘your gift will make room for you,’ quoting the bible. I haven’t been telling anyone how much anxiety I’ve been carrying in quiet because I had no idea about this part. I only know I want top-notch work and customer service for Black women. Period. I really hope you’ll consider doing this with me.”

“Of course!” I didn’t want to give away how desperate I was for this opportunity. “I’ll be ready for our call next Wednesday. I have a few models I want to type up for you, even a few programs available to help with inventory and Q.C.—I mean…” I rolled my eyes this time. “Quality control. My bad.”

“No worries. I can’t wait!” She turned to leave, laughing. “Such a blessing, girl!”

I waved her off then turned for Tobias. He was standing over one of the chairs at the table that had now been cleaned off by the staff as he typed into his phone. “You said you wanted some of the ambrosia.”

“Oh!” My eyes brightened as I pivoted. The buffet was loaded with all types of goodies. “Yes. Ambrosia.” Then I gazed his way again. “Business?” Or your daughter?

I didn’t want to think about the latter. It didn’t take long to locate the fruit salad. I scooped up just enough to sample and found a spoon. Then I walked over to Tobias, who was still entranced in something in his phone.

“Are you ignoring me?”

I smiled when he peered my way. “Oh, nah. I’m looking at these flights. There’s one in first class—Delta—that can have you in Raleigh at four in the morning. That’s awkward. I can’t have you driving by yourself nowhere at that hour.”

My pulse began to beat hard in my neck. “You’re sending me home tonight?”

He turned to me, at first his gaze confused. “I know I strong-armed you into coming up here. I told you I’d have you right back home. I’ll be a man of my word.” His brows narrowed. “You don’t want to…”

I knew Tobias well enough to know he was struggling to mask his excitement.

“I texted Scott right after dinner. I told him I’d be home tomorrow. I didn’t say when.”

“So, what do you want to do?” His gaze swung above my head, telling of his thoughts of us extending our time here.

“Well…” My forehead stretched. “You’re home—in Jersey. I’m in town…” I wrapped my free arm around his back and placed my chin into his chest. “I haven’t seen your wine selection. I’m the only woman who’s seen you naked but hasn’t been to your home.”

Those heavy eyes wrinkled at the side, and Tobias tapped his index finger at the tip of my nose. “I know what you’re alluding to. And while I’ll never lie about my sensual preferences, I won’t allow you to call me a whore. Do you wanna see my private cellar?”

I bit my lip, feeling sexy in a way I wasn’t used to. “I want to see your collection. Why don’t you treat me like you wanted to when you saw me at the Bank of America Stadium, if I told you I was single.”

A fire ignited in Tobias’ eyes, and his amusement disappeared. “You wanna role-play, Lennox?”

“I woke up in my bed in North Carolina, prepared to get through another dry Thanksgiving holiday with my in-laws. Then I end up in Jersey, unscheduled and with a job prospect before I end the night. I don’t even recognize the girl who left that bed this morning. Until I arrive back in Raleigh, I want to be anyone else, as long as I’m with you.” I swallowed back a tear as I peered up to his beautiful face.